Getting through
by NCIS SVU Enough said
Summary: The trial takes an unexpected twist. How will Olivia cope with the consequences? There's only one person that can help her. First Fanfic, be gentle. Read & review! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey, that's an idea that popped in my mind about the trail's aftermath!**_

_**I own nothing, unfortunately Dick Wolf does!**_

_**Enjoy! **_

**_Set 2 months after Lewis' trail_**

She walked into the squad room feeling drained, emotionally,physically.

Everthing hurted so much.

She was early, although she wasn't supposed to be there to begin with.

"Liv...what are you doing here?"

Cragen greeted her, concern evident in his voice.

God, it hurted so bad to see his best detective,the woman she had known for 15 years and thought of her as his own daughter like this.

After the unexpected turn of the trail she was spiralling down, day by day.

Lewis may have been killed but he took with him her solid rock, the only person she had truly loved.

Lewis had managed to catch another break and slipped out of Barba's hands.

Then he came after her,only this time someone else took the toll for her.

Brian beat the shit out off him when Lewis break into their apartment, but that wasn't enough.

Shots were fired by both of them and they bled out on the floor before Olivia could do anything.

She felt helpless, guilty for his death.

If it weren't for her he would be alive,he didn't deserve to die for her.

There were days that she could barely function without him by her side.

But yet you could see that she was trying her best with everything she had.

Therapy helped a lot.

Her friends, her family in the squad was always by her side:Cragen, Nick, Amanda & Fin, Munch often called to check on her, even Barba was deeply concerned about her wellbeing.

She was going to make it through this ordeal, she was Olivia Benson after all.

"Captain,I work here!"she said exasperating.

Well,that was the Olivia he knew,with her sassy comments.

She smiled slightly at him while they held their gazes for a little longer.

The moment was interrupted by Nick storming in the squad room.

"Jesus,Liv you scared me the hell out of me.I woke up and you were nowhere to be found in the apartment."

Olivia chuckled at her partner's comment,she secretly liked it when he was being overprotective to her.

"Nick,I figured that you'd thought I'be here."she went all serious.

"It's ok.I just got worried about you."he said while handing her a steaming cup of her favorite coffee and gently rubbing her shoulder.

She smiled at Nick's sweet gesture.

And this little moment didn't go unnoticed by Cragen who smiled at their interaction and excused himself in his office.

**_That's it. Did you like it or hate ?_**

**_Review and let me know what you think!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter 2 is up!thanks for the support,it made my day!_**

**_I own nothing._**

**_Enjoy!_**

The day drug on with piles of paperwork for all the detectives.

When Olivia signed the final page of paperwork of their last case,she let out a huge sign of relief.

"Ugh,this job sucks."

Fin chuckled at Liv's comment while Amanda said:"Still wondering how you've been doing this for 15 years."

At the last comment Olivia raised her head from the paper and her eyes were met with her partner's.

A look of understanding and utter admiration filled Nick's eyes as he looked at his strong,fearless,beautiful partner.

Well,she may have gone through hell,but here she was smiling lightly at him. He appreciated her smile more that anyone could imagine. The two last months have been so cruel to her: the trial,the "not guilty" verdict,Brian's death,the funeral..

Anyone else would have given up,but not her. She had a lot of strength left in her.

Suddenly he felt a punch on his shoulder. He turned up to see Olivia looking at him with amusement evident in her face.

"How many times have I told you to stop day dreaming,Amaro?"

He smirked at her,a little disappointed that he was forced out of his reverie.

"Come on,give me the damn keys,I'm heading home"she spoke again.

"Home"he mumbled searching his pockets and finally finding what he was looking for. He handed her the keys and moments after she was gone, headed for their apartment.

"Home"he whispered again.

He had yet to believe that the last month Olivia and him have been staying together at his apartment. Well,it took him a month to convince her that staying into shitty hotels in Manhattan was a terrible idea. Then he suggested she moved to the apartment she used to share with Brian or even to her old apartment. He had mentally slapped himself when Olivia had bursted into tears at the mere thought of going back where she was attacked and her boyfriend had been killed.

"It getting late. Go home,get some decent sleep and have a great weekend."

This time his thoughts were interrupted by his Captain's voice signaling them to leave the 1-6.

"Thank you Capt. Good-night!"Fin said while getting ready to leave.

"Hey,man Amanda and I are going for a drink. You wanna join us?"Fin spoke again.

"Yeah,come on,Nick,it's just a drink"Amanda tried to cheer him up when she realized he hesitated.

"No,I'm good. I'm going home" he replied with tiredness in his voice.

"Your loss"Fin said winking at him,heading for the elevators with his partner.

"Take care,both of you"he added looking Nick dead in the eye before disappearing behind the sliding doors.

"Always."he whispered to no one in particular.

* * *

He rang the bell. Once,twice...

Where would she be? he wondered. As he picked up his phone to dial the familiar number,the door swung open to reveal his beautiful partner,who had apparently just gotten out of the shower. He gulped while his eyes roamed on her body,the white towel,HIS towel,leaving little to his imagination.

She burst into a loud,wholehearted laughter.

"Are you gonna stand there staring at me or get in the house?"she mused.

" Sorry."he mumbled embarrassed by his reaction. Damn it,he was an adult not some teen boy.

But then who wouldn't stare at the perfect body of his partner?

"Get a grip,Amaro"he silently thought.

"I'm done with the bathroom if you wanna use it"she shouted from her room.

"Heading for a shower. Could you order some pizza or Chinese while I'm in the bathroom?"he said while taking his clothes off and stepping in the bathtub.

" No need to,I made some pasta before you came!"

His heart throbbed for this woman. Not only she had persuaded him to pay half the bills of the house but they had also agreed to help each other with the household. He smiled brightly and head for the kitchen to check out her pasta.

She was already dressed on black leggings and an oversized NYPD shirt,her hair on a loose ponytail,wandering around his kitchen. God,he could definitely get used to this sight.

"Hmm...smells great Liv. You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble."he opened the pot to reveal a delicious Napolitano.

"Not at all. Not to mention that you have cooked several times this past month AND much more complicated dishes!"

"It doesn't matter how complicated the meal is,Liv. What matters the most is the thought"he smiled genuinely at her while she couldn't help but notice his handsomeness, after all he was only wearing his boxers.

He smirked being confident with his body!

"Is this some kind of payback for our encounter in the door?"she asked while she pretended being busy with the salad.

"Is it?"he retorted and went to start his shower.

They were both enjoying their meal while making small talk about everything,work,sports,Zara and Gil,and sharing comfortable silences. They both knew that this,them,was something more than just partnership or friendship,but they were both scared for what will happen if they took the next step,if they did something that couldn't be taken back.

They knew that denying their feelings for each other would be pointless but at the same time admitting their mutual feelings would be risky for their job,their careers and most importantly their broken, shattered hearts.

_**What you think,fellows?**_

_**Reviews appreciated.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3 is up, shocked by "Psycho/Therapist".I am really looking forward for the next episode, hopefully we will have some bensaro scenes.**_

_**Well, you know the drill here: I own nothing blah,blah,blah!oh I am the only one who noticed the little bensaro scene at the last ep?When Nick asked Liv if she's ok she answered :I'm getting through".My heart literally stopped right there and then.**_

_**Enjoy the chapter and bring some tissues, too! **_

Days drug into months and Nick still haven't found the courage to confront Olivia and admit his feelings for her.

But she knew. The way he looked at her with his brown eyes filled with respect and care.

The way he always guided her and put his hand protectively on the small of her back.

The way he stared at her when she pretended looking away.

She felt loved and protected,even though she didn't used to be the type of woman who would want a man to protect her.

She woke up by her phone ringing.  
"Benson...Ok,Capt...No,we'll be there in thirty."

She hung up and and rested her head at her hand while contemplating getting up. Although it was Sunday they were called at a crime scene.

She signed deeply. Just another victim to help,another perp to chase down...and a lot more to go. This job have been taking a toll on her for the last 15 years. Amanda was right,how the hell could she possibly have been doing this for over a decade?

There was a knock at the door and Nick's head appeared at the door frame.  
"Hey! Good morning. Did you sleep well?"he smiled at her.

She smiled back and that's when she remembered the reason that kept her sane. Here it was standing in front of her,him.

"Good morning to you,too. I am gonna disappoint you, 'cuz we were just called in for work"

He kept his smile saying:"It's ok. I am not disappointed AT ALL.

What better than investigating a crime on a sunny Sunday morning?"  
She laughed loudly at his sarcastic comment. She really admired his sense of humor and skills of making her laugh so easily. It was one of the things she loved about him.

"Come on. Get out of bed, Liv.  
I'm making us some breakfast" he said while disappearing from her bedroom.

She stayed there staring at where Nick was moments ago smiling at herself.  
Finally she got up, they had breakfast, drunk a couple cups of coffee and that's how their day began.

* * *

"Zara's coming this weekend. Also Cynthia called me and asked of it was ok to leave Gil here for the weekend" he said while he was shaving in the bathroom.

"That's great...So what are going to do?Go to the park and have some fun or...?" she answered cheerfully.

He chuckled at her enthusiasm. She was perfect with kids and both his children had a great time the last time they had come to visit him.

"We can go to the park if it's not raining or stay in,watch movies and play board games"

"Or we can go to the cinema"she retorted.

His heart stopped. Could she possibly know what he had in mind?  
This was the chance that he'd been looking for the whole week.

"Actually there's an interesting movie,Spanish production,that I'd like to watch...but the kids will get bored"he said carefully contemplating his next move.

"So it's not animation, huh?"she asked innocently not knowing where this was going.

"Nah. They won't like it,it's a social movie...Would it be ok if,you know...we go together to watch the film?"he asked anxiously.

Her heart skipped not just one but maybe two or three beats!  
She knew it was stupid and that she made it a big deal,but she couldn't rap her mind around the thought of going out with Nick.

Sure they had gone for drinks many times with the team but this was different,it was just the two of them going out.

She had apparently been silenced for a while because she heard Nick's voice:  
"It's ok,Liv. I can take Fin with me if you don't wanna come" he said failing to hide the disappointment in his voice.

She snapped to reality and tried to compose herself.

"Nick,of course I want to go to the movie with you,why the hell would I say no?"she said quickly not wanting to miss the chance.  
She smiled brightly and he smiled back while his face lightened up.

"Ok then. Go and get ready while I go check what time the film is on."he answered joyfully.

She smirked at him heading for the bedroom,contemplating which outfit would be better for the occasion.

30 minutes later she appeared from the bathroom. She had chosen a pair of black tight jeans, a blue silk shirt that fitted perfectly with her blue high heels. She let her hair fall into loose waves and she had put on some light make-up,mascara and a pink lip gloss.

Nick had been ready and waiting for her at the living room.  
"Do I look ok?"she asked as she walked on by his side.

His jaw dropped at the perfection on front of him. Suddenly he felt the urge to be close to her,hold her tight in his embrace,whisper to her ear how much he loved her...But he knew she didn't feel about him anything more than friendship, so he did none of what he had in mind.

"You look stunning,Olivia"he said taking in the beautiful sight.  
She blushed and giggled at the sincerity of his words.

He chuckled surprised to hear her giggling.  
"Did you,Olivia Benson, just giggled?"he teased her playfully.

"NO. I didn't!"she said trying to be serious but bursted into laughter.

Watching her smile was something magical,but watching her laugh was beyond magnificent.

When they stopped laughing they headed out of the apartment into the warm night of Manhattan and drove to the cinema.

Nick parked the car,got out first and rushed to the passenger's door. He opened it for Olivia and she mumbled a "thank you" surprised by his actions. Sure she knew that he was a gentleman, but she wasn't used to being treated like that. But of course she could easily get used to Nick opening the car's door for her or guiding her by the small of her back.

* * *

"The movie was in deed great. The acting was amazing and the script writer had done an excellent job"she said enthusiastically.

"Yep. It was good"he said while getting out of the cinema.

Their hands brushed against each other's and the spark the both felt was undeniable.

Feeling a little brave,Olivia grabbed his hand lightly and intertwined her fingers with his.  
She immediately regretted it when she felt Nick's stiffening under the touch.  
Her heart sunk. Could she have misinterpreted every single sign that Nick has been sending her?

She was wrong again. Of course Nick wouldn't want someone like her,she was damaged goods and he knew it. That's why he insisted on staying with him,out of pity.

Suddenly she got angry. How had she been such a fool?  
She immediately detached her hand from Nick's as hot tears threatened to spill on her cheeks.  
She turned her head to the side, so that Nick wouldn't be able to see her crying.  
But he picked the exact moment to speak,sensing her unease.

"Liv,what is wrong?"he said unsure what else to say.  
"It's nothing"she said,her voice barely above a whisper,hating how broken she sounded.  
He stopped dead at his tracks and got in front of her.  
The sight was heart breaking. Hot tears had made their way to both her cheeks. Her big brown orbs full of hurt.  
Damn it,what had he done?  
He carefully put his thumbs on her cheeks brushing the tears away.  
She closed her eyes,grateful for the touch.

"Liv,talk to me"he said his eyes pleading her to speak.  
She looked at him,really looked at him and she realised that she had nothing to lose.

"I want to be with you."she heard herself saying,whispering.

She surprised both of them by saying what they wanted to admit for a while.

Nick felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.  
He smiled like an idiot.  
And he decided that it was the perfect time to talk from his heart.  
"Liv,I would love to be with you...You've just made me the happiest person in this planet"

She released a breath and smiled back at him,her tears tracing paths on her face.  
He cupped her face with his left hand while he used his right to wipe off the remnants of her mascara.

"I must look like hell"she said shyly.

"Hey. Don't you ever say that"  
He guided her chin in order to face her and kept going:

"You are the most beautiful person I've ever met. You're beautiful,Olivia, inside-out. I admire so many things about you. The way you bust perps, the way you get victims to open up to you,your determination,your passion.

You're amazing,Liv, when you smile the whole room lights up...I am in love with your smile, your personality, your body, your everything...

And I don't really care about NYPD's policy about not having a relationship with a coworker or what Capt will say.  
I am willing to take this chance with you and be happy for once in my life. Because I realized that you make me happy, Olivia, you are the reason I get out of bed in the morning, you and my kids keep me sane..." he said while his own tears made his eyes shine.

He knew this was too much for Olivia.

It was only six months ago that she had gone through hell and lost the person she thought she couldn't live without.

But he couldn't be more wrong in his life. Because she was ready to move on,leave the past behind her and start on a clean slate.  
She looked him in the eyes,his beautiful brown eyes that she could get lost in for hours and approached him slowly being unsure about her next move.

Their heads were just inches apart.  
Their breaths and heart beats in unison.  
Their eyes locked.  
Brown looking brown.  
Her hands travelled at the nape of his neck, gently messing with his short hair.  
His hands travelled at the back of her neck, pushing her hair to the side, admiring her pure beauty.

They were standing at the middle of the sidewalk but neither of them cared.  
They were partners but neither of them cared.  
Because they were about to take the next step,move from the past and plan their future together.  
Because they were ready for this,for them.

All their surroundings seemed to fade away as they closed the gap between their faces, their lips meeting at a sweet, tender, yet full of passion, lust and love kiss.

This was it.

This was them.

Two people desperate for love,hope and life.

_**That's it.**_

_**Did you like it or hate it?**_

_**Leave a review and let me know.**__**Also I've been thinking to rap this story up in a few chapters,but don't worry I will do it properly.**_

_**Thanks for the follows,favorites and reviews.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey!Sorry for the delay.**_

_**Chapter 4 is up.**_

_**Enjoy and take a tiny moment to let me know what you liked or not.**_

_**I own nothing, just this crazy idea.**_

They had been working on a tough case. Anna Mackenzie a seventeen year-old girl,was brutally raped and beaten nearly to death by her ex-boyfriend.

But of course he had refused every allegation against him and unfortunately the team had nothing to charge him for.

Two days and they couldn't catch a break.

Cragen walked out of his office, taking in the sight of the tired, drained faces of his detectives.

"Listen up everyone,we've been working hard these past days.

Go home,get some rest and I expect you here tomorrow at 8 a.m."

Watching his favorite detective ready to disagree he added:

"And consider that an order"

Olivia eyed her Capt.,he slightly nobbed at her and her lips moved upwards,their eyes locked.

He always knew how to make her feel like home,just one look in his eyes and she would feel safe,loved by a father figure she never had the chance to know.

Truth is she needed some time to regroup herself,get some decent sleep and think about stuff.

She sighed deeply.

She knew she was messing up with her chance to be happy.

And she also knew that he could make her happy,he had proved himself through the years of their partnership in more than one ways.

He was by her side every day,having her back.

He was her rock after the trial,a shoulder to cry on whenever she couldn't take it anymore.

He put up with her moods,her nightmares,the sleepless nights in his apartment.

He was her partner,her friend. Her lover?

Well,she doubted that he would still want to be with her after the last two weeks' events.

After that night they kissed she'd been giving him the cold shower.

She'd been avoiding him all the time at home and when on the job they exchanged a couple of words relevant to the case.

She craved his smile,his scent,his hug,his lips on hers.

But yet she,Olivia Benson,had admitted to herself that she was scared to death.

She was afraid of her strong feelings towards her partner.

Afraid she might get hurt again, that somehow she will lose Nick,just like it had happened with Brian,Elliot,her mother,everyone she deeply cared in her life.

She felt ready to move on,but she was sure she couldn't take another heartbreak.

She looked at Nick. He seemed distant,lost in his own thoughts.

They silently gathered theirs things and headed for the elevator.

Once the doors closed he turned his attention to her face. By the frown on her temple he could tell that she was in deep thought.

He felt awful for not being able to talk to her normally,touch her,spend time with her. He had done something wrong and he just couldn't figure out what.

Plus the fact that she would brush him off every time he tried to start a conversation wasn't exactly helping things.

He didn't even register that Olivia had stepped closer to him and their faces were inches apart.

Their eyes locked and he took a hasty breath.

"Olivia..."he whispered but he was cut off by her lips meeting his. They barely touched but that was all Nick needed. He pressed her body against the elevator,crushing his lips on hers.

DING

The doors slided open and they broke apart abruptly.

They headed to the parking lot,got into Nick's car and silently drove to their shared apartment.

* * *

After having a shower he met Olivia in the living room,typing hysterically at her laptop.

"Liv, it's already midnight. Get some sleep"he was seated next to her and rubbed her shoulder tentatively.

She leaned in his touched and surprised both of them by hugging him tightly. She rested her head in the crook oh his neck and inhaled deeply his after shave.

Nick gently pressed his lips against her t-shirt's fabric kissing her shoulder.

"I want us to talk"she broke the comfortable silence.

They pulled away,facing each other and Nick squeezed her hand,a reassuring gesture that she could go on.

"I feel like a total bitch for doing this to you...These past days I've been so distant and cold and I know you have every right to hate me for..."she started explaining but cut off by Nick's finger on her lips.

"I cannot hate you,Olivia. My love for you is so much that even if you didn't talk to me for the rest of my life I would still love you,I would still want to be with you.

I know it may be scary for you,because only half a year ago you went through hell and back, but,Liv,I am begging you to trust me. I am not willing to let you.Ι am scared,too,Liv.

But I am here for the long haul"he said taking sharp breaths.

His eyes were pleading her.

Her eyes were glistening with tears.

Finally she said barely audible :

"Yes. I trust you,Nick. You know I do."

He smiled brightly and gently grabbed her hair pulling her for a hot,passionate kiss. Their tongues danced together and Olivia couldn't help but moan at the sensation of Nick's tongue on her mouth.

He smirked at her and after a short making-out session they broke apart.

He tugged her T-shirt signaling her to move and she giggled.

"Come on,let's get some sleep"he said heading for his bedroom.

He rested his head at the pillow,covering himself with the sheets and sleep found him immediately,a light smile across his face.

She tiptoed in the bedroom careful not to wake him up. She took the left side and cuddled next to him. The last the thing she thought about was how her life would be from now on.

She couldn't help but feel loved by the man on her side and she was right.

That very moment she realised what a happy life means: little ordinary moments of happiness with people you care or even truly love.

_**That's it.**_

_**Thank you all for the support.**_

_**Next up:a glimpse to the bensaro paradise.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hey,again,fellows!**_

_**Chapter 5 is up!**_

_**I am really excited about the reviews and favorites or follows.**_

_**Thank you all.**_

_**So I decided to complement this chapter with some lyrics:**_

_Talk about love,talk about love_

_Let's have a midnight conversation_

_Talk about love,talk about love_

_Let's have a new communication._

**_I am not sure about the artist but I think it fits perfect to this chapter._**

**_Also changed the rating to T just to be sure._**

**_I_** _**own **_**_nothing._**

**_Enjoy!_**

He opened his eyes.

The morning sunlight temporary blinded him and after some moments he looked at the digital clock at the night table.

7.00 am

That's when he realized that something or rather someone was in bed with him.

He turned his head only to be greeted by Olivia's sleeping figure.

"What a way to start your day"he thought and smiled brightly,watching her calm,beautiful face.

Even without any make-up,her hair messy, wearing a loose t-shirt and boy shorts she still amazed him by her pure,natural beauty.

He gently got out off bed,but Olivia stiffened and opened her eyes.

"Good morning!"she smiled groggily.

"Good morning,sunshine"he smiled back at her,kissing her temple.

She hugged him and cuddled in his embrace.

"I could get used to that,you know,waking up with you by my side"he whispered in her ear sending goosebumps on her skin.

"Yeah me too... Let's just stay here all day" she said back.

He chuckled.

"That would be great Liv,but we need to bust some perps"

"Ugh!I guess you're right"

And with that she got up and headed to the bathroom.

" I'm watching you detective, stop checking on me" she said trying to sound serious.

"I can't help it Sergeant, it's not everyday that a beautiful woman is in my apartment"

"In boy shorts" he added seductively.

She giggled and shut the bathroom's door.

He kept lying there,feeling somehow rejuvenated,god the effects this woman had on him.

He sighed happily,went to the kitchen and made coffee and pancakes.

* * *

They drove in a comfortable silence to the 1-6, Nick stopped the car in the parking lot and before they got out to the sunny weather, he gave her a sweet peck on the lips, they linked hands and finally headed to the squad doors.

After another couple of days they managed to close the Mackenzie case.

Anna was getting helped by a group therapy program and extra personal sessions with Dr. Lindstrom that Olivia urged her to attend.

Her assailant,her ex boyfriend, was in Rikers waiting for his sentence to be determined.

And of course Barba had made sure to ask for the maximum,given the extent of her injuries.

Olivia couldn't be more content with the outcome.

She was filling some paperwork as her other three colleagues,when Barba walked in the squad room,a confident smirk on his face.

"The judge agreed to 25 years"he announced happily.

The detectives smiled greatfully at him and Olivia was first to talk:"You did it,Counselor"

She got up and high-fived him.

"Hey,why don't we go and celebrate at Melanie's? I could use a drink"Fin said.

"Don't you always,Fin?"Amanda retorted playfully.

"Yeah,I think that works for me"Nick said looking at his partner.

"As long as Barba's coming I am in,too"Olivia said

All eyes turned to the DA.

"Sure. Why not?"he shrugged and gave his characteristic smirk.

* * *

Once in the bar they settled in a booth,having small talk about everything,laughing like idiots.

The intimacy between Olivia and Nick didn't go unnoticed by the other three of the company.

The close distance between the two partners,Nick's hand on her back were only some signs of their close relationship.

"Alright, guys we're gonna hit the road. We have a morning shift tomorrow. Barba,you coming?"

Fin said getting up and helping Amanda in her jacket.

"Yeah,sure.I have a ton of paperwork to fill up"Rafael answered.

"And we can let the two lovebirds enjoy the night"Amanda said smiling to Olivia and Nick causing them to blush deeply.

"What do you mean?"Nick tried to cover up.

"Come on man. Even a blind person can see it."Fin said winking at him.

"Don't worry your secret's safe with us."Amanda said while she head to the exit with Barba and Fin on her side.

"Great."she commented when they were out of earshot.

"Well,is it that obvious?" Nick wondered.

"I thought we were hiding it pretty well"she said back.

"You think Cragen have noticed?"

"God I hope not. But even if he haven't,he will find out sooner or later"

"We can always disclose"he said.

"And be separated or get transfered to another unit. Yep, that is what he need to do"she retorted sarcastically.

He smiled at her."Let's just be together and see where this goes. Then we decide. Ok?"

"Ok. Just get me out of here. I wanna go home"she replied.

"Alright,then,let's go"

And with that he left some bills in the table,took her hand in his and guided her out of the bar.

They exchanged small talk while walking to the apartment.

"I am exhausted" she said trying unsuccessfully to suppress a yawn.

" You want me to carry you,sweetheart?"he asked laughing.

"Don't you dare to think about it!

And you know I don't like being called like that!"she complained.

He snaked his arm on her back and pulled her against his shoulder,wanting to feel her close.

"Hmm... We both know you love it,sweetheart!"he whispered in her ear receiving a light punch in his stomach.

"You think,huh?"she said,her breath against his neck teasing his freshly shaved skin.

"You are such a tease,Sergeant Benson"

"Only for such a handsome detective!"she said seductively kissing him softly on his lips.

* * *

When they walked in the house and Olivia made a beeline for the bathroom.

"Give me five and I am out"she said before shutting the door.

After a while she emerged from the bathroom with no make-up, her hair combed,wearing a light green satin robe.

He looked at her trying to stop his eyes from roaming on her body.

He entered the bathroom only to be greeted by her characteristic scent.

By the time he got out she has already been asleep on the couch.

A strand of her hair had fallen gracefully on her face,her mouth was slightly open and she couldn't be more peaceful.

He contemplated waking her up.

He knew that she would complain in the morning about her back hurting.

So he placed his right hand under her thighs,his left supporting her back and carried her to her bedroom.

He placed her carefully on the mattress,covered her with the light blanket and kissed her forehead.

She sifted lightly.

"Hmm...Nick stay here"she whispered not even bothering to open her eyes.

"You don't have to say another word"he said back.

She smiled at his sassy comment as he climbed to the opposite side of the bed.

She turned to face him and crushed her lips on her mouth,taking him by surprise.

It took him a second to respond,tracing his tongue in her mouth, battling with hers for dominance.

They moaned simultaneously and Nick detached his mouth from Olivia's leaving a trail of hot kisses on her cheeks,neck and collarbone. Her sleep was long forgotten.

She gently grabbed his hair pulling him closer,whimpering lustfully as he was exploring all her sensitive spots.

Her light whimpers and moans surely had an affect on him.

Her hands were roaming on his bare chest tracing patterns with her fingers on his well muscled abdomen.

Then she wrapped her legs around his waist and started sucking his pulse point, biting the sensitive skin of his neck.

He felt his throbbing erection tightening even more and he gently pulled away from her not wanting to take advantage of her body.

She eyed him,frowning,a look of hurt obvious on her face.

"Liv,I don't want you to think that I'm taking advantage of you and surely I do not want you to have any regrets in the morning.

I love you and I can't mess this up"he whispered softly,praying that she would understand.

She smiled at him,the confusion dispelled.

"Amaro, just show me how much you love me"she said back cupping his face with hers hands.

"Liv,are you sure about..."he said being cut off by her lips crushing on his for a second time in the last couple of minutes.

"For God's sake,Nick. Shut your mouth and make love to me"she said against his lips.

He smiled at her and the next moment she snaked both her arms and legs around his body.

Nick tangled his fingers on her hair and pulled her in for another passionate kiss.

Their love making was tender and sweet. Their moves delicate yet full of passion and urgency.

They made love time after time till the first morning light found them as a tangled mess of arms and legs,exhausted but more complete than they ever felt.

_**Did you like it?**_

_**Leave a review & let me know.**_

_**A special thanks to Dia,you made my day.**_

_**Thanks for your kind,supporting words.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hey everyone. I know it's been a long time since my last update but don't worry,I am back.**_

_**So here's an extra long chapter. Get yourselves ready for an emotional rollercoaster!**_

_**Enjoy and review!**_

_**Yep,I own nothing blah blah!**_

* * *

_"Now I ain't much of a poet _

_but I know somebody once told me to seize the moment _

_and don't squander it_

_cause you never know when it could all be over"_ Eminem~Monster

They were curled up in the bedsheets both fully awake,but neither of them tried to move.

"Last night was..."Olivia trailed off.

"Yeah. It was amazing...

I felt something different last night,a special connection..." he was cut off by her lips on his mouth.

They broke apart locking eyes.

"You made me feel loved and wanted like nobody else in the past.

It was definitely amazing"she smiled genuinely at him,her eyes shining with tears.

He cupped her cheeks with his palms and gently placed a kiss on her lips.

She responded immediately by returning the kiss and asking for entrance in his mouth.

Their make-out session was interrupted by Nick's phone ringing.

"Good morning, Zara!"he said cheerfully after checking the caller ID.

"How are you?...Yep. You did?That's great...Of course I am going to work...I'll give Olivia a lot of kisses from you,princess"he eyed his partner smiling at her.

"Ok,sweetheart. Have a nice day.

See you on Saturday morning... I love you,too. Bye"he hung up and sighted happily.

"How is she?"Olivia asked him.

"Happy and cheerful as always. She made me a paint and will give it to me on Saturday. She's really excited about it...Oh and before I forget I owe you some kisses on her behalf"he said playfully and started attacking her neck with soft peks.

She giggled and tried to get off his grip,but his arms were wrapped securely on her waist.

She gave up fighting and surrendered to his sensational movements.

That how their day began and they couldn't be more grateful for each other's company.

They knew this could work out.

They would do anything to keep their relationship strong no matter the obstacles they faced.

Because they would surely face lots of them.

* * *

"Good morning, Sergeant!"Fin said smirking at his coworker.

"Morning!"she said smiling brightly at him.

Nick followed right behind her and after they settled to their perspective desks Amanda entered the squad room.

Cragen got out of his office and addressed to his detectives.

"We got a vic in Bellevue hospital,she's unconscious. The nurse called it in for possible sexual assault.

Amaro,Benson go. Fin,Rollins stay here and wait for a heads up." he said getting back to his office.

"I am driving" Olivia said grabbing the Sedan's keys before Nick had the chance.

"Lucky me!"he retorted smirking at her.

Once in the hospital,Olivia and Nick were shown their way to the victim's room and faced a rather shocking picture: a young girl,she couldn't be more than 18,was severely beaten and was lying on the hospital bed,her eyes shut,but her shoulders were shaking up and down,silent tears making their way to her cheeks.

Well,they had been doing this job for a while but it still hurt every time another victim appeared on their way.

He let Olivia step forward and she spoke softly to the girl,making sure she wouldn't startle her.

"Hi. I am Olivia. You wanna tell me your name?"

She opened her eyes trying to look at the Detective,but her vision was blurred.

Olivia reached out to the night table and handed her some tissues.

"Thanks"she mumbled softly.

"I'm Elisabeth" she went on while wiping her tears away.

She chocked on her tears and suspiciously eyed Nick.

Olivia sensed her unease.

"Elisabeth,we're Detectives from Special Victims Unit. This is my partner,Nick"she said and motioned to him.

"Is it ok to ask you some questions?"she asked cautiously.

Elisabeth nobbed slightly,the two partners shared a knowing look and proceeded to the interview.

* * *

"Sergeant have to act fast"the commissioner made her snap into reality.

She thought a little bit about her next move.

Captain had left unannounced yesterday noon heading to a meeting with 1PP and had left her on charge.

This wouldn't be a problem if the circumstances were different.

But now here she was trying to find a way out of this mess.

She inspected the multiple vehicles and police cars that were parked hastily around the house in New Jersey. Two SWAT teams were ready to bust in with her signal.

But she would try a more harmless way first.

When she spoke her voice was raspy:"Get him on the phone" she ordered.

"We don't have a negotiator,Sergeant"the man retorted.

"I am perfectly capable to handle the situation,I don't need a negotiator"she said raising her voice.

He did as he was ordered and handed her the phone. After a few rings the line went dead.

"He cut the house line.

Contact me to the Detective's cell number"she said.

After the second ring someone answered the phone.

"Hello?"Olivia said unsure.

There was no answer just the heavy breathing of their suspect-she thought.

Then without any warning,the echoing sound inserted her ears.

"Shots were fired!Shots fired!"she heard faintly around her and somehow managed to give the SWAT team the green light to bust in.

She remained at the same spot for what seemed like an eternity.

A couple of moments after,the paramedics rushed out and wheeled him to a stretcher.

As soon as she saw him she rushed by his side.

"NICK!"she shouted. She was fully aware of her surroundings and knew she sounded desperate,but right now she didn't care at all.

"Vitals are low. His pulse is week"the one paramedic said.

"Put the sirens on. We're heading straight to Mercy" the other one ordered.

Olivia looked back at the house,contemplating whether to go with Nick. He needed her there. God,she needed to be by his side.

"Liv,we got this,just go"Amanda put a hand on her shoulder,a reassuring smile on her face.

"Liv,we're good here. Nick needs you"Fin supported Amanda.

She nobbed slightly.

"Thank you"she mouthed and jogged to the ambulance.

"Ma'am,are you a relative?"

A paramedic blocked her way.

"He's my..."she contemplated telling the truth but instead she choose to say:"He's my partner.

I wanna ride with him to the hospital"she pleaded.

She must have looked really desperate,because the paramedic gave her a smile and helped her climb to the ambulance's back.

Beep Beep Beep.

The continuous sound emitting from the machine hooked on him couldn't be a good sign.

"He's coding. Help me out"the paramedic said while hooking him to more wires.

His whole body hurt. No,hurt wasn't the right word. He felt nothing. He was numb. A wave of electricity run all over him. Then,again.

He tried to open his eyes. His eyelids were heavy. He made another effort. This time his eyes obeyed,but he couldn't really see anything. His vision was blurred.

As he tried to make out the forms in front of him,a familiar figure appeared in his view.

"Olivia?"he tried to call her out,but it came out as a whimper.

She reached for his hand.

She said something but he couldn't make out what.

He focused his attention to the sound of the sirens echoing in his mind. His eyes closed again as he slipped in and out of consciousness.

* * *

She had been seating on this uncomfortable metallic chair for a while.

Millions of thoughts on her mind.

How they had ended up like that?

She surely hadn't seen that coming. The case seemed nothing out of the ordinary, but in a matter of no time it had taken a different road.

Elisabeth Worther had pressed charges against her assailant. She had picked him from the line without any hesitation and the evidence was enough for the case to be proceeded. A last minute mistake was enough to cause a collateral damage. He had somehow managed to escape custody and went after Elisabeth.

By that time she was cleared by the hospital and Nick had offered to get her home, since her parents lived in Montreal and she had no one to take care of her.

Olivia should have gone with Nick to New Jersey,but being in charge of the precinct didn't give her many options,but to stay in the 1-6.

She wasn't sure what had happened but apparently he had disarmed Nick and threatened to kill Elisabeth.

The haunting sound of the gun firing was still in her mind, taunting her.

She haven't heard a word about his condition. Did he even make it to the ICU?He had coded three times in the way here. She didn't know what to think or what to expect at this point.

She couldn't lose him. Not now that everything in her life seemed ok. She had started on a clean slate leaving the past behind. It wasn't easy. She had spent almost two years with Brian on her side. They had taken the next step by getting an apartment together. They loved each other.

Her ordeal with Lewis had left her scars,physical and mental ones.

He had taken everything she had. Her dignity,her sleep,her ability to trust herself. And like these weren't enough,he had killed Brian.

Nick was the one who had dragged her both literally and metaphorically out of her misery. He was the one who had led her out of that haunting beach house. She could still remember his soft voice ringing to her ears.

_Last May:_

"Liv,it's me,Nick. Can you open up?"

Moments passed into silence.

He heard Olivia unlocking the bathroom door and slowly making her way out.

He unsuccessfully tried to suppress a gasp.

She was beaten. Her clothing ripped off. She had blood on her hands and face.

But what really made him want to kill this bastard was the look in her eyes.

He had never seen her beautiful brown eyes like that. Her usually full of passion,joy and determination eyes were now full of pain,hurt even fear.

He approached her tentatively.

"Hey. Liv I am so sorry that we weren't here earlier. You're safe now"he whispered softly.

She looked at him relieved that it was over. She didn't care about anything right now. She just wanted to get out of this place.

He put a blanket on her shoulders and she flinched.

He felt his heart reach the floor.

"I am sorry"she mumbled.

"Liv,it's ok. You don't need to apologize"

She took the blanket thankfully and she surprised him by pulling him in her embrace.

He wrapped his arms securely around her waist and felt her whole body shaking.

She was crying. God,he had really screwed up. He was a shitty partner for not having her back,but yet here she was trusting him in a weak moment.

"Shh. It's ok,no one can hurt you now"he kept saying while rocking them slightly.

After a while she pulled away,looking in his eyes.

"Just get me out of here"she whispered.

He guided her out of the house,gently putting his arm around her shoulder as if trying to protect her from the world.

* * *

"Olivia?... Olivia?"she heard someone calling her out.

She snapped out of her reverie and looked at the person calling her name.

She immediately frowned at the sight in front of her.

"Tucker,what are you doing here?It is definitely not the right time to answer to any form of questions"she said harshly.

Only then did she realise that tears were streaming on her face,her make-up and mascara making paths down her cheeks. She wipped them angrily with the back of her hand and looked away from him. She wouldn't break in front of him,not again.

"I am not here for IAB"he said simply.

"Is it ok to sit here?"he went on motioning to the chair beside Olivia.

"Yeah. I guess,it's ok"she mumbled.

"I'm here for Nick. How is he doing?"he asked gently.

"I haven't heard anything. It's been three hours since he was admitted"she hated how broken she sounded, but she couldn't contain her anxiety and angst.

"He's tough,you know. He will make it"he said reassuringly squeezing her shoulder.

She was taken aback by his friendly behavior.

Sure they had shared a moment a while back but Tucker wasn't the type of the person that he would offer comfort to someone,let alone her.

Her thoughts were to interrupted by his voice.

"How are you holding up?"he asked,a genuine concern in his voice.

"I am scared. I blame myself for not being there. I was supposed to be with him..."she trailed off, surprising even herself for opening up like that to him.

"You have feelings for each other,don't you?"he asked again.

The question caught her of guard as she looked surprised at him.

"What the hell is this suppose to mean,Tucker?"she said raising slightly her voice.

"Relax,Olivia. I am not here as a Lieutenant. I am not judging you!"he tried to calm her down.

"Yes,I do have feelings for him,but that is none of your business"she spatted.

"It's good to know that you moved on"he said smiling at her.

"Just keep it low so that I don't have to bust your asses"he laughed lightly looking in her eyes.

She smiled back at him.

"Why?"she inquired.

He looked at her being aware of what she was asking. He sighted deeply before he answered.

"Because I screwed up,Olivia. Big time. I have messed up with almost every single Detective in your squad room. And I couldn't be more wrong about them. Especially about you. I am truly sorry for making your life hell all these years. It took me 15 years to understand that you're still here because you care,because you wanna do the right thing risking everything,your career,your life even,just to get justice. I realised that we're on the same side here.

I reallyappreciate you. You of all people in the world deserve a happy ending and if me pretending that I have no clue about your relationship with Amaro makes you happy,I'll run for it without any hesitation"he said locking eyes with her.

Her eyes were shining because of the tears she was trying to keep at bay.

"Thank you"she whispered softly,reaching for his hand and squeezing it gently.

"Just remember what I told you back then: you are strong enough to get through everything. You keep fighting and at the end you will be able to live,live for yourself,Olivia"he said while getting up and heading to the exit.

"Call me if there's any news"he said making his way to the elevator at the end of the corridor.

She saw him disappearing from her vision and her mind went back in January.

_Last January:_

"Detective Benson you need a minute?"he asked her during her interview noticing her heavy breathing and her hands shaking visibly.

It's been two days after Lewis' mistrial and they now had two bodies in the morgue: his and Cassidy's.

He was following standard IAB's protocol, interviewing the witnesses,which in this occasion was Benson,but he had a hard time focusing on his job.

"No. I am fine. Let's get this over with"she answered failing to sound determined and composed.

Tucker asked her a couple of questions,not wanting to bother her anymore and switched off the recording.

She immediately stood up heading for the door.

He reached up to the handle preventing her to pull it down.

"Olivia,I know that you have every right to hate me,but trust me on this. You're strong,you'll get through this. I cannot imagine how you feel but I know that you will make it"he said placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah,I guess you're right" she said her lips curving in a light smile.

She got out of the "box" and blindly went to the lady's room.

She locked herself in a cabin and slowly sliding to the floor,breaking into sobs.

She didn't even register the door opening and footsteps making their way to her.

Someone slid his back at the other side of the door.

Olivia stopped crying and tried to form some kind of words.

"What do you want?" she said harshly.

"17 years ago,she had a car accident,didn't even make it to the hospital...I was in the passenger's seat,she was driving. The car hit her side making her head crash to the steering wheel. She bled out in the ambulance and I was by her side watching helplessly as she was fading away...

I loved her...I really did and after the autopsy had been finished they informed me that she had been pregnant.3 months.

I could have had everything a man could ask for,a woman I loved and a child,but it was taken from me in an instance...

I know it's hard but you're strong and passionate. You will make it,hell I managed to get through this and I am coward,you will thrive Olivia. I know it,just give it some time..."he trailed off letting the room in silence.

She opened the cabin's door and he got up,facing her with wet eyes.

She pulled him in her embrace and quietly sobbed in his arms.

She believed him. She knew he hurt deep inside. She appreciated that he had trusted her.

"You're a good man,Tucker. I couldn't think I would ever say that but you're a good guy"she chuckled and he mimicked her.

They pulled away facing each other.

"Just don't say anyone because I have worked hard to build this façade" he said smiling.

"Your secret's safe with me.

I know too well about façades" she retorted bitterly.

She headed to the sink trying to fix her make-up while he made a beeline for the door.

"See you around,Detective" he said smiling at her.

"See you around,Lieutenant"she said back knowing that their moment was finished and they had gone back to their professional mode. But this was enough to make her appreciate the man she loathed for so many years.

* * *

She must have fallen asleep because she felt someone nudging her.

She shot her eyes open to be greeted by her Captain's figure.

Her eyes adjusted to the bright light and she saw Fin and Amanda standing in front of her.

"Hey,what happened?"she asked groggily.

"Are you ok,Liv?"Fin asked,his voice laced with concern.

"Yeah.I'm fine. What time is it?"she replied searching for her cell phone in her pockets.

"It's 6 pm"Cragen answered her question.

She signed frustrated.

"Damn it.I've been out for an hour. What if the Doctor came and wouldn't be able to tell me about Nick?"her voice was swaying as her tears threatened to spill.

"Liv,It's ok. We asked the nurse and he's still in surgery. They don't know anything yet"Amanda tried to calm her down.

"Fin and Rollins filled me in about the incident. The suspect is on lock down,Elisabeth is a little shocked but she's not hurt at all"Cragen informed her.

"Ok. That's good. At least she's safe now"she realised a breath she wasn't aware she was holding.

"Also,IAB wants your official statement...as soon as you're ready" he went on.

"You got to be kidding me. My partner is in surgery for God knows how many hours and they want my fucking statement?" she raised her voice dangerously and glared back at her Captain.

She breathed deeply and went on in a calmer tone:"I am not going anywhere until I make sure he's ok"she stated.

He admired her dedication to her partner and said nothing more.

Yes,he knew. He was actually the first one who had seen the signs before even the two of them had realised they were in love.

It was so evident to him.

But he waited to make sure that they were doing their jobs without their personal stuff getting in the middle of their professionalism.

And he was right. They were perfect as partners in work and in life.

He was proud of them in deed.

The woman he felt as a daughter was finally happy after all her angst. She had a man by her side,which he knew that he would take care of her no matter what.

He was aware of the fact that Internal Affairs wouldn't be pleased but he would have to worry about it later.

He was now worried about Nick.

They all were but they tried to hid it for Olivia's sake.

The last time in a hospital's waiting room had been a nightmare for her.

She knew it was futile but she kept waiting until the Doctor had come to announce Brian's death.

Now the circumstances were different or at least she hoped so.

She stood up and mumbled something about going to find the Doctor.

As if on cue the Doc. appeared in the hallway of the hospital and headed to the team.

His face didn't give up anything.

Well,he was trained for that after all.

As he approached them they prayed everything would be ok.

She prayed that she hadn't lost another person she loved.

"Family for Nicholas Amaro?"

**Cliffhanger! Yeah,I know cliffhangers can be a pain in the ass but right now you have to bear with me! Please let me know what you think,especially about the "Tucker" scene.**

**I bet you all hate Tucker in the show so I wanted to make him look like a good guy just for a change!**

**Thanks for the reviews,follows and favorites,I reaaaaally appreciate your support.**

**Be back soon. ~xxx**


End file.
